


Don't Make Me Stop This Car

by Anonymous



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amusement Parks, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Good Parent Logan (X-Men), Good Parent Wade Wilson, Happy, Humor, Logan tries not to kill Wade, Parent Wade Wilson, Roadtrip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 19:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30110592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Logan & Wade taking their awesome daughters on a drive.This is not what Logan signed up for.
Relationships: Eleanor Camacho & Wade Wilson, Laura Kinney & Wade Wilson, Logan & Wade Wilson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: X-Men Rare Pairs 2021





	Don't Make Me Stop This Car

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [milosdinosaur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/milosdinosaur/pseuds/milosdinosaur) in the [xmenrarepairs21](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/xmenrarepairs21) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>  The Wolverine and Deadpool road trip that never was.   
> Up to you whether Wade is with Logan or Laura, or both :)
> 
> I know it's not super long or plotty, but I couldn't resist having some fun.

" _ Ninety-nine vials of super-soldier serum on the wall, ninety-nine vials of super-soldier serum! Take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight vials of super-soldier serum! _ "

Logan's hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that he started to think his claws would come out soon. 

Why did Chuck put him up to this? 

" _ Ninety-eight vials of super-soldier serum on the wall! _ " two voices joined in from the backseat, followed by giggles as Wade grinned back at the girls. 

He couldn't handle another hour and a half of this. 

"Wade," Logan started, hating that he had to hold his tongue on the words he  _ wanted _ to come out since Ellie and Laura  _ weren't old enough for his potty words _ as Wade had put it earlier, "change the tune or I stop the car." 

"But we're having fun, Wolvie," Wade cheered.

"Yeah, we're having fun," Laura said, smirking at him through the rearview mirror. Such a damn brat.

"Daddy's got lots of fun songs," Ellie assured the other girl. "Right, daddy?" 

"That's right, Ellie-O," Wade nodded. He pulled out his phone and shoved the adapter into it. "Be prepared for the greatest band ever." 

Logan knew what that meant. "No--"

One of the poppiest, most eighties-sounding songs blasted through the speakers and made logan feel like something was finally dying inside of him. 

" _ Wake me up, before you go-go, don't leave me hangin on like a yo-yo _ !"

As soon as these kids are gone, Logan's going to show Wade what he can do with a yo-yo.

\---

They wound up pulling over anyways. Because Wade had that giant super slushie from the gas station and now couldn't hold it. The girls played a game on a tablet while Logan waited outside the car, desperately craving a smoke, while Wade was doing his business in some bushes.

Wade came skipping back to the car, humming more Wham! under his breath. 

"All set pops." 

Logan stopped Wade with a grab of his shirt. "Dial yourself back to a one, or else I won't be at fault for ki--"

Wade gasped. "Logan! How dare you say the k-word around the children! That a fifty to the Swear Jar, mister." 

"That's--That's not even a swear!"

"You should be ashamed," Wade chided, shaking his head in disappointment. "This isn't one of your movies where you're allowed to speak like a sailor." 

Did anyone ever understand the words that came out of Wade's mouth. "Where did you even come from?" he shook his head, letting go of the man and walking back to the driver's side.

"Well, Rob and Fabian created me around the same time The Backstreet Boys were still making teen girls swoon, and recently I've come out of Ryan The Handsome Reynold's fantasies, but  _ technically _ I was created in an--"

"Please shut up," Logan pleaded, dropping his head against the door. "I forgot how bad of an idea it is to ask you figurative questions." 

Wade pouted, "But those are my favorite kind!"

"Say one more word, and I'm leaving you here." 

Wade made the action of zipping his mouth shut. Logan narrowed his eyes, then got in the car. 

The silence lasted ten seconds, and they were the most blissful ten seconds of Logan's life.

\---

"Can we see the animals first?" Ellie asked, munching on a granola bar. 

Wade dug a water bottle out from the cooler between his feet and handed it to his daughter. "Of course, Ellie-pop, we can see all the animals and make friends with them." 

Logan snatched one and offered it back to Laura, who took the bottle and twisted the cap open with her teeth.

"I want to go on the big drop rides," she declared, "and the ones that go upside-down."

"There's a height requirement, kid," Logan pointed out, "don't think you'll reach it." 

"Maybe if you stretch on your tippy-toe claw," Wade suggested, instantly brightening Laura's face.

"I like that idea," she nodded.

Since when did Logan have to be the sensible one? He wasn't letting Wade be the favorite. "You know what? If being thrown from a rollercoaster is going to teach ya not to disobey the safety rules then have at it." 

"Yes!" Laura cheered victoriously. 

"Aw, Logan," Wade cooed, "you're trying to be responsible." 

Logan glared at the other man and swerved when he almost missed their turn-off. 

"I can be responsible," he grumbled when the car was righted. 

\---

"You're not a bad parent, Wade," Logan commented as they watched Elie and Laura petting a stingray in the petting pool. 

Wade grinned at Logan and put his head on the man's shoulder, unbothered when he was shrugged off. "You're not a bad pseudo-daddy either, Wolvie." 

"Don't ruin the moment," he complained. 

Laura made a squeaky noise and jerked her hand out of the water. "It's slimy," she said, face scrunched while her face contorted, unsure if she was displeased with it.

"I want one," Ellie said happily before looking over at the adults. "Daddy! Can I have one?"

"No, Wade," Logan said before the man could answer.

"Live a little," Wade replied, nudging his side before calling out, "I don't think mommy would like that, but maybe we can go with a puppy!"

Ellie looked overjoyed. "Puppy!"

Logan rolled his eyes, glad that's not going to be his problem. "Who wants to go on that drop-down ride over there?" 

"I do!" the girls answered, hurrying over.

Charles will probably have something to say about that, but Logan wasn't trying to be the good one, just the most sensible. 

He wasn't there to babysit Wade. So if Wade can't stay behaved, well, Logan wasn't taking responsibility. 

Some rides won't kill them, anyway. Probably. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos feed my soul so please leave some!


End file.
